Grammy nominee Halsey and their partner of three years, filmmaker Alev Aydin, have quietly broken up. While the couple never married, so they do not need to divorce, they do have to determine custody of their one-year-old son Ender.

Halsey filed custody paperwork for their son in April, requesting full physical custody. However, the petition states that the singer and Aydin would share joint legal custody, and Aydin would receive reasonable visitation. Halsey also asked that both parents split the costs of raising their son jointly. There was no mention of child support. Aydin has not disputed her request, so it will likely be approved.

Many people assume that requesting full custody is a sign something has gone very wrong in the parents’ relationship. However, sources close to the couple state that the breakup was amicable and that they are dedicated to co-parenting. So why would Halsey request full physical custody?

This is not as unusual as it may appear. Many families find that awarding one parent primary or sole parenting time is best for their children, even when both adults are dedicated to giving them the best possible childhoods. For example, Halsey and Aydin have careers involving significant travel, often with little notice. The couple may have determined that granting Halsey full physical was the best way to give Ender a consistent environment while still allowing both parents to spend time raising him.

This is an excellent example of how amicable co-parents can determine parenting time without drawn-out court hearings. If you’re on good terms with your co-parent, you may be able to do the same.

Can You Voluntarily Give Your Co-Parent Full Custody?

If you have not been involved in custody proceedings before, you may not realize how much freedom amicable co-parents have. When parties agree on dividing parenting time, California courts rarely question their choices. Unless there is a clear sign that a plan will harm the child, any split both parents accept will typically be approved. This is even true when one parent gives the other full custody.

Sometimes, the court may question whether both parties are okay with a given split. For example, if one parent is giving up all legal and physical rights toward the child, the judge may require that the couple meets with an approved mediator to discuss their choices. This ensures that the parent in question understands what they are giving up before it becomes a formal legal order. However, if both parents genuinely understand and consent to the arrangement, it will usually be formalized in an official court order.

Reasons Why Parents May Choose Not to Split Custody Equally

While in a perfect world, every parent would have unlimited time and resources to raise their children, that’s not the case for most families. When parents split up, they may realize that sharing custody equally isn’t the best choice for their kids. Some of the most common reasons couples choose uneven splits include:

Careers: Some jobs are much more demanding and unpredictable than others. If one person has a job that often calls them away from home on short notice, they may prefer to receive visitation rather than constantly needing last-minute care for the kids.
Resources: Co-parents often have differing access to resources, support, and even the ability to care for their kids. If one person lacks stable housing or has a health condition that makes being a single parent particularly difficult, they may prefer to receive visitation rather than joint custody.
Stability: Even when both parents are willing and able to raise their children, joint custody may be overwhelming for the kids. If the adults live far apart, the children can spend a lot of time traveling in 50/50 parenting time splits. Parents may give the kids a more stable environment by having them live with one parent and scheduling frequent visits and phone calls with the other.

Regardless of the situation, an uneven division or parenting time does not make either person a bad parent. In fact, it makes them both better parents because they are making sacrifices to give their kids a better life.

It is important to note that no matter how you split parenting time, you may still have to pay child support. All legal parents are obligated to financially support their children, regardless of whether they have custody. In most cases, non-custodial parents are required to pay since the custodial parent takes on most of the financial burden of raising the child.

How California Parents Can Work Together to Decide Custody

If you have an amicable relationship with your co-parent, you can likely work together to design an order that suits you both. The best way to accomplish this is by working with an experienced family law attorney to draft a petition you will file together.

Your attorney will explain your options and ensure you understand your rights as a parent. They can also suggest options suited to your situation, such as:

Sharing full joint custody
Giving one parent primary physical custody while sharing legal rights
Sharing legal rights but giving one party sole physical custody
Awarding physical and legal rights to one person and giving the other visitation

Once you have found a solution that fits your needs, your attorney will draft the petition according to state requirements and assist you with its submission. Their counsel and support will reduce the risk that the court questions or denies your petition.At Kaspar & Lugay, LLP, we are dedicated to helping families like yours resolve complex family law matters. We can help you achieve your custody goals, whether you want to draft an agreement with an amicable partner or you need to take matters to court. Learn more about how our San Mateo family law office can assist you by scheduling your consultation today.