Deciding whether to get a divorce is a big decision. When you first got married, you probably assumed that your love and relationship would last forever. If things have gotten bad enough that you’re considering divorce, it’s only natural to feel conflicted about ending things and starting over.
However, you’re not alone. Today, about 40% of all Americans will get a divorce at some point. Two out of every five people in the country will look at their marriages and decide it’s time for them to end.
You can have that kind of confidence in your decision, too. Here’s how to tell whether your marriage is unhealthy and worth ending and how you can make the decision to file for divorce with confidence.
5 Signs That Your Marriage Is Unhealthy
There are many ways a relationship can be bad for you. There’s no doubt that a physically abusive marriage is worth ending. Still, there are multiple other signs that your marriage is unhealthy for you and needs to end. The top five signs it’s time to get a divorce include:
Your Partner Seems Indifferent or Cruel
No matter what you feel for your partner, you need to remember that marriage is a two-way street. If your spouse treats you like a roommate, a maid, or an emotional punching bag, the relationship has failed.
A good marriage involves two spouses who support each other through thick and thin. You can’t be the only one contributing to the relationship. Even if you still love your partner, if they ignore you or seem to enjoy hurting you, it’s time to get out.
Your Partner Is Regularly Unfaithful
Infidelity is a major reason people choose to end marriages. About half of all marriages involve infidelity at some point. While it’s possible to recover from an isolated instance of cheating, you should watch out for trends. If your partner cheats on you more than once, it’s a sign that they don’t respect you or your feelings. You deserve to get a divorce and find a partner who will be faithful to you.
Your Marriage Lacks Intimacy
Part of the joy of a healthy relationship is having a partner with whom you can be intimate. If intimacy has left your relationship, that can be a sign that your marriage isn’t healthy. Whether your partner holds intimacy over your head as a reward or simply no longer wants to interact with you that way, it’s a sign that things have gone off the rails. It may be time to end your relationship and find a new partner whose preferences match your own.
Your Friends and Family Worry About You
Most people try to stay out of their friends’ and family members’ relationships. If you have a strong support network in your life, it’s worth paying attention to those people if they express concerns about your relationship. Sometimes, people outside your relationship have a more objective view of your spouse’s behavior. If your friends and family worry about you and your marriage, it may be time to consider getting out.
You No Longer Care About Your Partner
The number one reason you should get divorced is simple: you don’t want to be married to your spouse anymore. If you feel indifferent toward your partner and no longer care about whether you stay married, it’s time to end things. It’s the only fair thing to do. They deserve to have a relationship with someone who cares about them, and you deserve a partner you want to spend time with.
How to Feel Confident When You Decide to Get Divorced
Even if you’re considering divorce, it can be hard to take the final step and file. It’s easy to worry that you’re making the wrong decision, and things may get better in the future. You can build up your confidence one way or another with tactics like these.
Make Lists
When all of your concerns are trapped in your head, it can be hard to make a firm decision. Try writing lists detailing the pros and cons of getting a divorce. If the list of pros is significantly longer than the cons, then your decision may be more obvious than you thought.
You can also write a similar list of the pros and cons of staying married for comparison. If the cons list is longer than the pros, then it’s clear that you need to do something to fix things.
Get Unbiased Outside Opinions
Even if you’ve already talked to your friends and family about your divorce, you may still have doubts. After all, your loved ones have biases about your relationship from watching it progress over time. In that case, it might be worth seeking out unbiased opinions.
There are divorce and marriage support groups online that you can turn to if you’re not sure what to do. These groups give you a place to talk about your concerns and get feedback from people who have been in your shoes. They can help you clear your head and decide what to do next.
Pursue Professional Counseling
Finally, consider couple’s counseling if you want to ensure you’ve done everything you can to fix your marriage before ending it. A couple’s counselor can help you and your partner discuss issues you face and find ways to make your relationship work again.
However, if your partner isn’t willing to work with you to improve your marriage, it’s clear they no longer respect you. It’s time to get out and begin a new life without the weight of an unhealthy marriage dragging you down.
If You’re Considering Divorce, It May Be Time to End Your Marriage
By the time you consider getting a divorce, your marriage has probably struggled for a while. You don’t need to drag things out any longer. Reach out to the expert attorneys at Kaspar & Lugay, LLP, today to discuss your situation. They can help you figure out your next steps and reclaim your life by getting the divorce you need.
